MSLD 641 Module 2 - Am I a Resonant Leader?

Am I a Resonant Leader?

            Most people understand what it takes to be a great leader, technically speaking, but few people understand how to mobilize energy, inspire, motivate and empower other, and to build a resonant culture. Most of what it takes to excel in leadership has to do with vision and relationship with oneself, with others, and for others. Emotional and social intelligence makes the difference and distinguishes a good from a great leader, along with practices of renewal to dribble the sacrifice and power stress (McKee, Boyatzis & Johnston, 2008).

                The biggest surprise I discovered about myself while trying to figure out if I am a resonant leader, is the consistency of each resonance dimension. For instance, I find myself inspirational but not always, and the techniques I use sometimes fall short, as people feel inspired through different channels and tools. When it comes to positive emotional tone, I am overall positive and hear that quite often from my followers and leaders, but I fail sometimes when venting about something I faced as if I need to talk to process and then have a closure in my mind. This approach creates negativity, and although I do it unaware or well-intentioned, I can create a negative tone to my teams.

                I am often connected with others, but rarely I cross the line to really get to know in-depth what is in others’ hearts or minds. I consider my observation skills and situational awareness sharp, but I lack skills to break the barrier and have a more tuned relationship with others in my professional environment, which is not an issue in my personal life. I believe I demonstrate compassion by listening to people (when I decide to cross the line I am not comfortable with) and trying to do whatever is in my control to relieve their pain, but sometimes, with my “problem-solving” mind, I turn into a sympathetic leader instead of an empathetic one (see the difference simplified by RSA, 2013, with an explanation from Brene Brown). The dimension I think I am more consistent with is the tune. Except in stressful one-on-one conversations, in which I struggle with self- awareness, and management, I am quite often tuned with myself, others, and the environment.

            One example I can cite, which I feel I fell short on being inspirational and setting a positive note, happened few months ago, when I was in a room, waiting a new team to arrive for a meeting, and decided to set up the room with motivational quotes, sweet treats, putting people’s name on their seats, standing to receive people and walking around welcoming them. I made small conversations about their country, or greeted them in their native language, when I realized that some people in the room didn’t like it, or ignored. It could be for lack of interest in the job, for some careless attitude commonly present in the workforce in my company, but it made me think that people are driven by different "forces", also that people are skeptical when a leader is too positive, especially in my role. My inconsistency is related to not doing that in every meeting, and just picking random days, as it is a trial initiative.

            Another situation I feel I fell short on not being connected with a follower's heart and mind, happened last year. I could feel something was wrong by his body posture, lack of facial expression and lack of active listening, but instead of sitting down and having a proper conversation to try to understand the source, I just started small conversations to break the ice and to lift the person up. I failed on my goals, since at the end of the day, I was not connected, not tuned, neither compassionate by the follower’s feelings, and my well-intentioned approach did not achieve anything apart for making me a poor skilled leader, afraid of creating a discomfort.

            My examples are mainly related to the relationship management domain of Emotional Intelligence, as shown  by Boyatzis & McKee (2005, p.29). Resonant leaders need to know what inhibits effective individual and team performance, and how to address issues (McKee, Boyatzis & Johnston, 2008). My goal, for the next couple of months, is to develop skills to enhance my ability to lead resonantly.

References

           

Boyatzis, R., & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press

RSA. (2013). Brene Brown on empathy. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.